


The catastrophe crew

by KiiboTheCinnamonRoll



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2019-11-05 04:08:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17911715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiiboTheCinnamonRoll/pseuds/KiiboTheCinnamonRoll
Summary: The students of the 79th class end up in a chatroom. It goes about as well as you'd expect by which I mean it is chaos.





	1. The start of hell

**79th class group chat**

**3:53 am**

**16 people have been added to the group chat**

**Shuichi:**  since when did we have a group chat?

 **Kokichi:** I don't know but I already like it

 **Kaede:** of course you would, you're probably just going to spam it with memes

 **Kokichi:** Ding ding ding! Cooooorrect! Wow, you know me so well bakamatsu!

 **Maki:** whoever made this has earned the wrath of my knife

 **Kaito:** GUYS GO TO SLEEP IT'S TOO EARLY FOR CHAOS

 **Kokichi:** its never too early for chaos

 **Rantaro:** he has a point

 **Tsumugi:** chatfics like this are getting a bit overdone guys, stop.

 **Kaede:** what

 **Kokichi:** what

 **Shuichi:** what

 **Rantaro:**  what

 **Kaito:**  what

 **Tsumugi:** what

 **Kokichi:** ok, this is boring. It's time to spice things up a little   

**Kokichi has changed their name to Supreme panta ruler**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Shuichi's name to Blues clues**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Kaede's name to Piano**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Rantaro's name to Mystery avocado**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Tsumugi's name to Plain**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Kaito's name to Rocket man**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Maki's name to Ass ass in**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Miu's name to M*u**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Kiibo's name to Roomba**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Angie's name to Bob Ross**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Tenko's name to Ultimate girl lover**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Korekiyo's name to Uncultured seesaw**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Kirumi's name to Mom**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Himiko's name to Magic tricks**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Gonta's name to Wild west insecticide**

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Ryoma's name to Wii sports tennis**

**M*u:** why did you censor my name you twat?!

 **Wild west insecticide:** gonta not really understand this name

 **Plain:** Kokichi you are going to be slaughtered if you don't give Gonta a better name right now

 **Supreme panta ruler:** nah :p

 **Plain:** :)

 **Mystery avocado:** Legends say that the ominous smiley face is the last thing gnomes see before death.

 **Supreme panta ruler:** whatever. It's just a smiley face its not like I'll die or anythiddhgmuuhcmgcdthsrxhggn

 **Blues clues:** another falls victim to the legendary ominous smiley face

**Plain has changed Wild west insecticide's name to Gentleman bug boi**

**Plain:**  does anyone else want their name changed?

 **Roomba:** I would like mine to be changed, this current one is robophobic

 **Ass ass in:** change this

 **Uncultured seesaw:** I would have no problem with this if it were not for the fact that it is lying about my intelligence. I am smarter than everyone here.

 **Magic tricks:** change this lie! It's real magic!!

 **M** ***u:** obviously I want this changed! The twink censored my name!

 ~~~~**Plain has changed Roomba's name to Reg**

**Plain has changed Ass ass in's name to Maki roll**

**Plain has changed Uncultured seesaw's name to Cultural seesaw**

**Plain has changed Magic tricks' name to Nyeh**

**Plain has changed M*u's name to M*u Ir*ma**

**Reg:** is this an anime reference?

 **Plain:** of course it is.

 **M*u Ir*ma:** This is worse!

 **Plain:** suffer

 ~~~~ **Mom:** all of you go to bed this instant. If even one of you sends one more message at this ungodly hour then you will be grounded.

 **Supreme panta ruler:** OwO

 **Mystery avocado:** OwO

 **M*u Ir*ma:** OwO

 **Mom:** you three have been cancelled


	2. Don't anger Tenko

**79th class groupchat**

**6:53 pm**

**  
**

**Supreme panta ruler:** hi welcome to Applebee's would you like apples or bees?

 **Blues clues:** bees?!

 **Mystery avocado:** he has selected the bees

 **Blues clues:** wait no

 **M*u Ir*ma:** the bees are ready

 **Blues clues:** WAIT NO

 **Cultural seesaw:** you must accept your choice Saihara. Accept the bees Saihara. It is your destiny.

 **Rocket man:** don't you think this joke is going too far guys?

 **Supreme panta ruler:** you offend me. 

 **Nyeh:** ~~~~stop sending messages I'm trying to sleep

 **Wii sports tennis:** turn off your notifications then it's not that hard to do.

 **Nyeh:** that's too much effort

 **Blues clues:** and replying to our messages isn't?

 **Ultimate girl lover:** are you disrespecting Himiko?

 **Blues clues:** no!

 **Reg:** why is Saihara hiding in the vents?

 **Bob Ross:** he is going to be punished for his sins by our local lesbian goddess!

 **Ultimate girl lover:** you're damn right he is. Thanks for revealing his location Kiibo

 **Blues clues:** SOMEONE SAVE M

 **Piano:** ~~~~he got caught

 **Ultimate girl lover:** mission accomplished

 ~~~~ **Mystery avocado:** ~~~~I think this is a good reminder of why men should fear Tenko

 **Maki roll:** Kaito your sidekick just got murdered

 **Rocket man:** life tip: if you're getting murdered, don't

 **Plain:** don't what?

 **Rocket man:** don't get murdered. Trust me, it's a technique that never fails

 **Ultimate girl lover:** do you want to test that?

 **Rocket man:** what?

 **Ultimate girl lover:** I'm coming for you

 **Rocket** man: ~~~~OH SHI

 **Mystery avocado:** oof

 ~~~~ **Wii sports tennis:** welp it was nice knowing you all. Tenko is going to obliterate all us men soon. Trust me on tha

 **Mystery avocado:** ~~~~it'll be fine, she wouldn't kill us all.

 **Ultimate girl lover:** he's right, I'm sparing Kiibo and Gonta. You're the only degenerate left now Amami. Your allies have fallen.

 ~~~~ **Cultural seesaw:** actually I'm still alive, you may need to check your mathyubvxdgjpbbmmvtg

 **Ultimate girl lover:** as I was saying, your allies have all fallen. Prepare to perish degenerate

 **Mystery avocado:** aight cool. See y'all in hell

 **Ultimate girl lover:** the deed is done, the degenerate army has fallen.

 **Plain:** this is fine

 **Mom:** at least now I do not have to look after so many of you

 **Piano:** wow, you got to them really fast Tenko. How did you do it?

 **Ultimate girl lover:**  training

  **Nyeh:** thank you Tenko

 **Ultimate girl lover:** you're welcome my beloved

 **Nyeh:** what

 **Ultimate girl lover:** what

 **Nyeh:** whatever, I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight

 **Ultimate girl lover:** goodnight! I'll go get some rest too

**Nyeh is offline**

**Ultimate girl lover is offline**

**Plain:** well that happened

 **Piano:** I wonder what will happen next

 **Plain:** find out next time on The Catastrophe Crew!

 **Gentleman bug boi:** Gonta no know what you mean but at least fighting is over  :D

 **Plain:** for now


	3. Mr clean

**79th class group chat**

**2:13 am**

**Supreme panta ruler:** @everyone

 **Rocket man:** KOKICHI I SWEAR TO GOD IT IS 2 IN THE MORNING GO TO SLEEP

 **Bob Ross:** *Atua

 **Blues clues:** kokichi we're trying to sleep, it's too early for this

 **M*u Ir*ma:** yeah! I need my beauty sleep you f*cking gnome!

 **Supreme panta ruler:** with how you look you're gonna need a lot of it  :)

 **Plain:** and why are you censoring your own swearing? Doesn't that make it less effective?

 **M*u Ir*ma:** I can't swear in front of Gonta. 

 **Rocket man:** that's fair

 **Bob Ross:** if you did mom would rip you to itty bitty pieces!  :D

 ~~~~ **Piano:** speaking of Kirumi, where is she?

 **Reg:** she went shopping.

 **Piano:** at 2am???

 **Reg:** correct

 **M*u Ir*ma:** oh so she's buying stuff she wants to keep secret from us ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

 **Maki roll:** whatever it is you're thinking right now stop.

 **M*u Ir*ma:** ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

 **Maki roll:** S T O P

 **M*u Ir*ma:** ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

**Rocket man has muted M*u Ir*ma** **or 1 hour. Reason: she's bothering my knife wife**

**Maki roll has muted Rocket man for 1 hour. Reason: he called me his knife wife**

**Mystery avocado:** oof

 **Piano:** press f to pay respects

 **Plain:** f

 **Cultural seesaw:** f

 **Reg:** f

 **gentleman bug boi:** f!

 **Wii sports tennis:** f

 **Mystery avocado:** f

 **Bob Ross:** f! 

 **Nyeh:** f

 **Ultimate girl lover:** no

 **Blues clues:** f

 **Supreme panta ruler:** abcdeghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

**Maki roll has muted Supreme panta ruler for 1 hour. Reason: pressing everything except f and not respecting my rocket husband.**

**Maki roll has muted themselves for 1 hour. Reason: I called Kaito my rocket husband.**

**Blues clues:** can we all just go to sleep now?

 **Piano:** yeah, let's just get some rest

 

**8:34 am**

**Reg:** kirumi why did you buy over 20 bottles of Mr Clean brand products?

 **Mom:** you saw nothing

 **Blues clues:** kirumi are you ok? Should I come check on you?

 **Mom:** I am fine. My room is a bit messy right now so I would prefer that you would not come to check on me right now.

 **Blues clues:** somehow that makes me more concerned? I'm coming over now.

 **Mom:** wait no

**Blues clues is offline**

 

Shuichi stood outside of her dorm contemplating what could possibly be in there that she doesn't want him to see. It couldn't be too bad right? That thought helped him to calm his nerves enough to enter the room.

It was far worse than he had expected, Mr Clean posters covered the walls, Mr Clean brand products were scattered across the room and forming the shape of a ritual circle in the middle of the room. And there, in the centre of the circle was Kirumi.

"...it isn't what it looks like." She said, trying to conceal the products from view.

"Really? Because it looks like you're trying to summon Mr Clean and hide your obsession with him."

"...ok so it's exactly what it looks like."

"I'll just.... leave? Good luck with summoning him I guess?" He didn't even wait for a response, he just leaves and decides to never go in there ever again.

 

 **Blues clues:** ok so I wouldn't recommend going into her room ever.

 **Piano:** what happened?

 **Blues clues:** she has an obsession with Mr Clean

 **Mom:** none of you can judge me. You all have strange things about yourselves that you do not wish to share with others.

 **Wii sports tennis:** I mean she's not wrong.

 **Maki roll:** let's just drop the topic. Lessons are starting now.

 **Mom:** yes, all of you go to class

 

**1:12 am**

**Supreme panta ruler:** @everyone

 **Rocket man:** OH FOR F*CKS SAKE KOKICHI

 

 


	4. ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

**79th class group chat**

**7:30am**

**Supreme panta ruler:** guys help

 **Maki roll:** what's wrong?

 **Supreme panta ruler:** Miu and Junko are fornite dancing outside of my window and won't leave. I should be the one fornite dancing outside their windows not the other way around!

 **Cultural seesaw:** I'm on my way

 **Supreme panta ruler:** oh thank god. You're probably one of the only people responsible enough to stop them.

 **Bob Ross:** *atua

 **Supreme panta ruler:** KOREKIYO WHAT THE F*CK

 **Maki roll:**?

 **Supreme panta ruler:** he brought Izuru and Kyoko with him and now all five of them are doing the macarena while staring at me. It's honestly terrifying.

 **Maki roll:** suffer

 **Mom:** it's nice to see this dysfunctional family getting along

 **Supreme panta ruler:** have you even been reading the chat? We aren't getting along

 **Mom:** I see you do not understand sarcasm

 **Rocket man:** um why do I see Shuichi leaving the love hotel?

 **Piano:** wait what

 **M*u Ir*ma:** I wonder why he was in the love hotel ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

 

 **Ultimate girl lover:** that degenerate male had better not have been with one of the girls in there!

 **Mystery avocado:** I wonder who he was in there with... does anyone have an alibi?

 **Supreme panta ruler:** so we're treating this like an investigation? Cool! Well my alibi is that I was being kept awake by Miu and Junko dancing outside my window

 **Rocket man:** I was stargazing all night with maki roll

 **Maki roll:** I was with the idiot

 **Rocket man:** D:

 **Wii sports tennis:** I was in my room contemplating the meaning of life and why the universe exists

 **Mystery avocado:** oh.

 **Mom:** I spent all night cleaning up after you all

 **M*u Ir*ma:** I've been awake all night trying to create a microwave that criticizes people's fashion sense

 **Plain:** why???

 **M*u Ir*ma:** because why not?

 **Mystery avocado:** ok so who doesn't have an alibi?

 **Piano:** me, you, Tsumugi, Angie, Tenko, Himiko, Kiibo and Gonta

 **Ultimate girl lover:** actually I spent the night training with Himiko

 **Blues clues:** why are you guys talking about this???

 **M*u Ir*ma:** we want to know who you diddled

 **Blues clues:** I didn't diddle anyone! Nothing like that happened in there!

 **Piano:** so it wasn't me because I'd totally diddle him

 **Bob Ross:** same here!

 **Plain:** yeah, same here

 **Blues clues:** ????????????

 **Mystery avocado:** ok so it was either me, Kiibo or Gonta

 **Plain:** couldn't we just ask shuichi who it was?

 **Mystery avocado:** that's a bit boring but I suppose it would be hard to figure out who it was if we don't

 **Supreme panta ruler:** so who was it shuichi? Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!

 **Blues clues:** you won't shut up if I don't tell you so fine

 **Blues clues:**....it was kiibo

 **Plain:** what happened there?!   :D

 **Blues clues:** I may or may not have agreed to marry kiibo in there

 **Reg:** you would marry me? 

 **Blues clues:** I guess yeah?

**Supreme panta ruler has muted Reg for 1 hour. Reason: he's stealing my Shuichi**

**Plain has muted Supreme panta ruler for 1 hour. Reason: no he's mine**

**Piano has muted Plain for 1 hour. Reason: back off he's mine**

**Rocket man has muted Piano for 1 hour. Reason: he's my sidekick so he's mine**

**Maki roll has muted Rocket man for 1 hour. Reason: I thought we had something special kaito**

**Mom has muted Maki roll for 1 hour. Reason: go get your rocket husband back instead of whining about it**

**Wii sports tennis has muted Mom for 1 hour. Reason: I don't know I just wanted to be involved**

**Gentleman bug boi has muted Wii sports tennis for 1 hour. Reason: Gonta wants to be involved too**

**Ultimate girl lover has muted Gentleman bug boi for 1 hour. Reason: there you go. Now you're involved**

**Nyeh has muted Ultimate girl lover for 1 hour. Reason: she muted Gonta**

**Mystery avocado has muted Nyeh for 1 hour. Reason: don't mute your fighter wife**

**Bob Ross has muted Mystery avocado for 1 hour. Reason: Atua told me to**

**Cultural seesaw has muted Bob Ross for 1 hour. Reason: sneesnaws**

**M*u Ir*ma has muted Cultural seesaw for 1 hour. Reason: *seesaws**

**M*u Ir*ma:** it looks like we're alone now shuichi ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

**Blues clues has muted M*u Ir*ma for 1 hour. Reason: no**

**Blues clues has muted themselves for 1 hour. Reason: I'm lonely**

 


	5. Don't be shortphobic

**79th class group chat**

**1:07am**

**Rocket man:** how to cook water

 **Rocket man:** wait this isn't google

 **Maki roll:** kaito I swear to Atua if I walk in there and see you attempting to light a cup of water on fire I will take all of your astronaut figurines and hide them in a toilet.

 **Rocket man:** I promise that I'm not lighting a water cup on fire

 **Maki roll:** I'm going to check that

 **Maki roll:** never lie to me like that again

 **Mystery avocado:** oof poor kaito 

 **Maki roll:** say one more word and your collection of make-up is next

 **Mystery avocado:** jokes on you, I don't even use that make-up

 **Maki roll:** then why do you have it?

 **Mystery avocado:** to consume its nutrients

 **Supreme panta ruler:** you eat make-up?

 **Mystery avocado:** nah, I'm just kidding

**Supreme panta ruler has changed Mystery avocado's name to Make-up eater**

**Make-up eater:** I despise you so much right now

 **Supreme panta ruler:** I get that a lot

 **Reg:** why are all of our conversations always at the strangest times?

 **Rocket man:** it's not strange to be lighting cups of water on fire at 1am

 **Maki roll:** yes it is.

 **Make-up eater:** yeah it's weird

 **Supreme panta ruler:** it's the very definition of weird

 **Rocket man:** no you're the definition of weird

 **Supreme panta ruler:** :0

 **Supreme panta ruler:** I'm telling mom

 **Rocket man:** wait no I'm sorry please don't tell kirumi please

 **Supreme panta ruler:** @mom

 **Mom:** what is going on here?

 **Supreme panta ruler:** Kaitos bullying me!

 **Mom:** Momota is that true?

 **Rocket man:** no

 **Mom:** I'm going to check the messages sent before I arrived, then I will know if you are telling the truth.

 **Maki roll:** there's no need for that. He's telling the truth.

 **Mom:** are you sure?

 **Maki roll:** yes I'm sure. I've been here the whole time so I know

 **Mom:** alright, I shall trust you. You are one of the more responsible ones here so I do not see any reason for you to lie. Goodnight everyone, I would recommended that you all go to sleep soon too or you won't be sufficiently rested for tomorrows maths test.

**Mom is offline**

**Rocket man:** ...we had a maths test?

 **Reg:** how are you not aware of this? It has been mentioned multiple times for the past few weeks

 **Supreme panta ruler:** short answer: he's an idiot. Long answer:

H

 

E

 

'S

 

 

A

 

N

 

 

I

 

D

 

I

 

O

 

T

 **Maki roll:** wow, that short answer is almost as short as you

 **Supreme panta ruler:** ok first of all never make fun of my height. Secondly, NEVER MAKE FUN OF MY HEIGHT

 **Rocket man:** it seems like you have a pretty SHORT temper

 **Supreme panta ruler:** stop that!

 **Maki roll:** what's wrong? You seem a LITTLE annoyed.

 **Rocket man:** don't worry maki roll, he's fine. This is only a TINY bit of banter

 **Supreme panta ruler:** Stop that! Or else!

 **Rocket man:** or else what?

 **Supreme panta ruler:** I'll tell mom again!

**Blues clues has muted Supreme panta ruler for 1 hour. Reason: not today buckeroo**

**Rocket man:** thanks shuichi

 **Blues clues:** no problem

**Reg has muted the chat for 1 hour. Reason: you're all being shortphobic**


	6. Kidnapping bears

**79th class group chat**

**11:30pm**

**M*u Ir*ma:** ok so there might be a bit of a problem

**Mom:** what did you do this time?

**M*u Ir*ma:** hey I never said it was my fault!

**Mom:** well is it your fault?

**~~~~M*u Ir*ma:**...yeah

**Mom:** what is the problem?

**M*u Ir*ma:** so you know how headmaster monokuma left to go on holiday for a while?

**Mom:** yes?

**M*u Ir*ma:** and how he left his kids in charge of running the school while he's gone?

**Mom:** where are you going with this?

**M*u Ir*ma:** I may or may not have kidnapped one of them

**Mom:** I'm not even surprised at this point. Why would you kidnap it?

**M*u Ir*ma:** well one of them just happens to be forgetful and kind of forgot monokuma was his dad? And thought I was its mother? So yeah, it's mine now.

**Mom:** that's not how adopting a child works

**M*u Ir*ma:** I know, I know. But I don't want to have to return it

**Mom:** well you are going to have to. You're still just a teenager, you can't raise a child on your own.

**M*u Ir*ma:** you're still a teenager and yet you're still basically raising the rest of us

**Mom:**...

**Mom:** fair point

**M*u Ir*ma:** besides I'm not planning on raising it alone. You and the others would help me, right?

**Mom:**...I suppose that is true. Fine, you can keep it unless headmaster monokuma wants it back.

**M*u Ir*ma:** I promise I'll take good care of it

**Mom:** please try not to let it inherit your bad language

**M*u Ir*ma:** can't make any promises about that

**M*u Ir*ma is offline**

 

  **79th class group chat**

**8:50am**

**M*u Ir*ma:** attention everyone. I, the gorgeous girl genius Miu Iruma have officially decided to raise a child!

**Supreme panta ruler:** I feel sorry for the kid

**Piano:** be nice kokichi, I'm sure she'll be a great mother

**Supreme panta ruler:** but that's Kayayday's lie isn't it?

**Piano:**...

**Piano has changed Supreme panta ruler's name to Gremlin**

**M*u Ir*ma:** quit it with your weird comedy act I'm being serious here! 

**Piano:** sorry? Good luck with being a mother 

**Reg:** I am certain that you will be a great mother Miu

**Plain has changed Reg's name to Kiibou**

**Plain has changed their name to Zetsubou**

**Kiibou:** this is actually a far better name, thank you Tsumugi

**M*u Ir*ma:** you're all getting off topic! 

**Zetsubou:** sorry? What's the child called?

**M*u Ir*ma:** Monotaro

**Zetsubou:**

**Kiibou:**

**Piano:**

**Gremlin:**

**Piano:  ...** isn't that one of monokuma's children?

**M*u Ir*ma:** it was but not anymore! Finders keepers!

**Zetsubou:** I don't think that rule applies in this situation?

**M*u Ir*ma:** it totally does but whatever. As long as Monokuma doesn't ask for him back Monotaro is mine.

**Gremlin:** I'll message him and ask if it's ok  :)

**M*u Ir*ma:** I don't trust that smile

 

**Private message between Gremlin and Monokuma**

**Gremlin:** Monokumaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

**Monokuma:** what do you want? 

**Gremlin:** Miu kidnapped one of your children!

**Monokuma:** good

**Monokuma is now offline**

**Gremlin:** well that didn't go as I expected  :/

 

**79th class group chat**

**Gremlin:** he said you can have it. How boring.

**Piano:** what were you hoping for?

**Gremlin:** drama

**M*u Ir*ma:** f*ck yeah!!! I finally have a kid!!!!!!! And all I had to do was kidnap it!!

**Zetsubou:** and so Miu's dreams were accomplished but little did our heroes know that danger was right around the corner. What danger? Find out next time on danganball z

**M*u Ir*ma:** don't narrate our lives like this is some anime

**Zetsubou:** no

**Zetsubou:** see you next time on danganball z.  


	7. Everyone loves shuichi

**Private message between Rocket man and Maki roll**

**3:21am**

**Rocket man:** I need your help

 **Maki roll:** you're having a bi crisis over Shuichi aren't you?

 **Rocket man:**...

 **Rocket man:** how did you know?!

 **Maki roll:** you aren't the first person to message me about liking shuichi today

 **Rocket man:** how many others have messaged you?

 **Maki roll:** the only people who haven't are Tenko, Himiko, Kirumi, Ryoma, Korekiyo and Gonta

 **Rocket man:**...so including me, 9 people have messaged you in particular about liking Shuichi all within the span of 3 hours?

 **Maki roll:** yeah. 

 **Rocket man:** I feel sorry for you

 **Maki roll:** if you do then hurry up and get your rant about liking Shuichi or whatever out of the way so I can sleep.

 **Rocket man:** alright!

 **Rocket man:** i dont know how to explain it but he's just so perfect! He's smart and funny and easy to get along with. He needs to be more confident but I'm sure I could help with that. He's like the best sidekick ever.

 **Maki roll:** are you done yet?

 **Rocket man:** almost

 **Rocket man:** I've never felt this way about any other guy so obviously it means that we're meant to be with each other! It's destiny!

 **Rocket man:** ok now I'm done

 **Maki roll:**...are you sure you don't feel that way about anyone else? At all?

 **Rocket man:** well maybe a bit but why do you wanna know?

 **Maki roll:** no reason nice talk see you tomorrow bye!

 

**Private message between Maki roll and mom**

**Maki roll:**  I need your help

 **Mom:**  Maki this is the third night in a row that you have messaged me at this ungodly hour about your undying love for Kaito. Please, let me rest. What more could you possibly still have left to say about him?

 **Maki roll:** a lot

 **Mom:**...if I inform you of a way to get him to give up on his crush on shuichi will you please not continue to ruin my sleep schedule?

 **Maki roll:** you have an idea???

 **Maki roll:** tell me and I promise that I will stop messaging you in the middle of the night.

 **Mom:** you are aware that many of our classmates have crushes on shuichi, yes? If you can help one of them to get the courage to confess to him then I doubt that he would reject them.

 **Maki roll:** you're actually allowing me to do that? I thought you'd tell me to not interfere with other people's love lifes?

 **Mom:** normally that would be true and it probably will be true again in the future once I'm not in a state of constant exhaustion. Take your chance before then.

 **Maki roll:** thanks mom

 **Mom:** you're welcome, however before you leave could you tell me who you intend to help confess?

 **Maki roll:** sure. I've decided that it wouldn't be Rantaro, Tsumugi, Angie or Miu because they only have minor crushes on him. Kokichi is an asshole so of course im not going to help him. Kaede and Kiibo are the only ones left but judging from shuichi's night in the love hotel I think I'll help kiibo.

 **Mom:** ok, have fun with that. If you need any assistance just ask me.

 **Maki roll:** alright, goodnight mom

 **Mom:** goodnight maki.


End file.
